Archive for the 'retrospecticus' Category

New year, old cliché

Published January 2nd, 2009 in teevee and retrospecticus. 1 Comment

Wow, this place is dusty.  Here’s hoping 2009 brings 2009 blog posts (or at least more than the handful 2008 brought).

But, with new beginnings brings a look back at what has passed.  Without my usual preamble, and just cuz I feel like it, the top 10 new scripted pieces I saw in 2008 (will feature mostly hour-long and half-hour TV, with a sprinkling of movies, since I didn’t see many, and possibly a video game, since they totally count).

10: House - 4×16 - “Wilson’s Heart”

HOUSE
Because it doesn’t hurt here.

Normally House is great because Beth and I can shout derisively at the screen - “House is always right!” - whenever a character decides to second-guess the amazing Hugh Laurie’s ascerbic diagnostitian, as they try to ratchet out conflict by having others doubt his crazy theories could be right.  They always are, and the mystery is always solved with nearly universally positive results. Last season’s finale got solved relatively quickly and easily, but it was the aftermath (the death of Wilson’s girlfriend due to House’s needing a lift from the bar) that revealed some of the most genuine and touching moments yet for the good doctor.

9. Mad Men - 2×11 - “The Jet Set”

KURT
I make love with the men, not the women.

An out there moment, to be sure, but one that kind of sums up perfectly what this show does best: take the morays of the 60s and throw them into question, oftentimes leaving its characters behind in what is going to be a huge social and cultural upheaval. And that doesn’t even touch on the fact that this was the episode where Don just took off from his conference in LA to join the crazy beach house and ended the week by calling someone as Dick Whitman, his long-buried secret identity. I almost lost these moments between the Decemberists intro and the Marti Noxon mandated rape plotline, but this show is still amazing.

8. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - 1×09 - “What He Beheld”

CAMERON
He said very little, and then he was quiet.

This show snuck up on me. I’m not big on the Terminator movies, but it is a damn fine hour of weekly sci-fi. It even made Brian Austen Green compelling! I know! And the image in the first season finale of bodies of armored FBI agents raining into an apartment complex pool to the tune of Johnny Cash made for a long summer of waiting.

7. 30 Rock - 2×12 - “Subway Hero”

BUCKY BRIGHT
I wandered around the building all night. I didn’t run into another living soul… except one gigantic lesbian. Who is Conan O’Brien, and why is she so sad?

This could just as easily have gone to “The One With The Cast of Night Court” for including, well, the cast of Night Court, or “Cooter” for the line “No it’s not. We’ve looked into it, and it’s not.”, but Tim Conway and the triumphant return of Liz Lemon’s delightfully sleazy ex-boyfriend Dennis (Dean Winters, also great as a polar opposite character on Terminator) took it.

6. Wall-E

WALL·E
Eeeee … vah?.

Amazing that they can do so much with so little.  A touching, whimsical, hopeful story.

5. Bioshock

ANDREW RYAN
A man chooses, a slave obeys.

Yes, it first came out in 2007, but I didn’t have my 360 until 2008.  Plus, the PS3 version was new in 2008, so I still technically didn’t break my rules. A gripping piece of work, I dare anyone playing through this not to be completely compelled and not just a little horrified. It’s very few movies even nowadays that can do such interesting work with ideas of free will, destiny and power, let alone go for 40 hours and let you shoot stuff the whole time.

4. Supernatural (Tie) - 4×01/4×08 - “Lazarus Rising”/”Wishful Thinking” (Honourable Mention to 3×13, “Ghostfacers”)

SAM
I’m really sorry to have to break this to you, but your bear is sick…

I knew there had to be a Supernatural on this list, I just didn’t realize how high it would be, or how many I had to weed through to pick just one. And even then I chickened out and took three. Could have been its own category. I like this show too much for my own good. But when it can wage an all-out war between heaven and hell one week, then have the boys hunt down a wishing-well animated, man-sized, stuffed (and clinically depressed) teddy bear the next, I simply must watch.

3. Pushing Daisies - 2×06 - “Oh Oh Oh, It’s Magic”

NED
It’s a magic show.

Not quite yet gone but already greatly missed. Ned finally started to get some movement on tracking down and coming to terms with his father, and Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles’ murder/undeadening kerfuffle started to really complicate. Plus Fred Willard showed up. Possibly the best Daisies of all.

2. Lost - 4×05 - “The Constant”

DESMOND
I love you Penny. I’ve always loved you.

It seems trite and simple, but seeing what is easily the most affecting personal story on Lost actually reach (at least at this point) a satisfying conclusion, one that is earned and rooted for, in what was also one of the most satisfying myth episodes of the series so far, with enough time bending and island-hopping to get any purist riled up, was nothing short of magnificent.  I tried to find another, less obvious Lost for the list, but “The Constant” was just too good.

1. Battlestar Galactica - 4×07 - “Guess What’s Coming to Dinner”

HERA
Bye bye.

I’m not even really sure this is fully number one, as a whole, but for the biggest sheer oh-my-God moment I can remember from the last 12 months, it deserves pause. That little girl at the edge of her mom’s bed, saying goodbye, ready to go to Rebel Six (for reasons we’ve yet to really find out) before Athena goes ahead and kills said Six, not to mention the basestar jumping away and Gaeta’s creepy-ass singing before getting his leg amputated … man, that was a great hour.

It’s that time of year again

Published September 17th, 2008 in teevee and retrospecticus. 0 Comments

It’s crazy time. Fall premiere time. The time when my PVR gets way too much of a workout, trying out new shows, catching up on old ones, and maybe discarding a few that are past their prime.

Let’s do this in a simple +/- (with maybe a neutral thrown in) to see what I’m looking forward to, or what may have disappeared.

(+) House — Hugh Laurie drew us in over the summer, and we spent evenings catching up with his previously-ignored-by-us medical procedural. The show is a bit of a formula (bit?), but Mr. Laurie is one of the most compelling personalities on the tube.
(o) Heroes — the ads for the once-promising comic-booky skein (yay Variety-speak!) are overwhelmingly meh, as was the entirety of the second season. I’ll probably give it a shot, but if things start to look like they’re getting more stupider, it’s gone.
(+) Gossip Girl — I was not a big fan early last year, but I think it largely found the tone it needed to take (sufficiently ridiculous), plus, Chuck Bass is one of my favourite TV creations in a long time. That dude can pull off colours no other exceedingly heterosexual man can even dream of. I now covet a pistachio-green suit with pink shirt and pocket square.
(o) Bones — this one has been up and down for years now. Since Fox had them “retool” after the first season, the mysteries had gotten stupider and the characters less compelling. The first couple back have felt more apropos, character-wise, so there is some hope.
(-) Eli Stone — the strike made us watch some things we weren’t proud of. This preachy, saccharine, overly melodramatic hour had two words going for it: Victor Garber. And with our actual shows back, not just strike filler, so long Mr. Brain Tumour Thingy.
(+)(for now) Fringe — J.J. Abrams does X Files. Hopefully there’s more to it than that, but the first two hours don’t necessarily seem to indicate that will be the case. Characters are moderately appealing, but whether or not there will be a story to care about is yet to be seen.
(+) Supernatural — Dean went to Hell. But of course the show won’t keep him there.
(+) Pushing Daisies — Yay! The Pie Maker is bank! Look for my Ain’t It Cool reviews again this year, all two of my readers.
(-) My Name is Earl — I stopped caring about a third of the way through the jail arc. The initially cute premise has become very tired, though interestingly not in the usual way. Ironically, getting away from Earl’s ‘list’ was the least interesting part of the show.

There are more. Maybe later. I wanted to get to this…

(+++) 30 Rock — I forgot how hard this show made me laugh, until this morning. I can’t believe something this smart and funny has actually succeeded, and not been shuffled off for another laugh-tracky rom com years ago. Enjoy one of the finest segments of comedy I’ve seen in years, courtesy of the probably-more-than-slightly-crazy Alec Baldwin (you may have to sit through an ad first).

There is just so much going on over the course of 90 seconds, you hardly get a chance to breathe. If the man doesn’t win an Emmy for this, I don’t even know what cliche of disbelief I’ll resort to.

Reasons I could feel sick

Published April 10th, 2008 in retrospecticus and nom nom nom. 0 Comments

1. The flu that Beth recently fought off/possibly passed to me

2. Whatever a couple people at work have been fighting off for the past couple of weeks

3. Having eaten deep-fried seafood and fries TWICE yesterday

I regret nothing.

I am, however, thinking of taking a mulligan on work tomorrow, as there will be a baby-shower lunch for Angela, currently on maternity leave, and I figure it would be best — if this heavy, vaguely sinking feeling taking over most of my body isn’t fried-food related — not to be around a new person with a half-developed immune system and risk infecting them with this particular brand of martian fever.

I relate this not as an opportunity to whine (much as I enjoy those) as much as to realize that yesterday acted as an unintentional celebration: I have been working at Black Cat for precisely one year, now plus a day. It is now the job I have held longest in my life. That is both crazy and a little sad, given that I’m 26. I mean, technically I worked at The Press for four years, but never for longer than a year at anything consistent, that I’m counting for this particular exercise. Yeah, fine, I was arts editor for two years in a row, but there were huge breaks between weeks/years, and that was hardly a daily thing, nor was it the ’same’ job for that whole time, what with the reapplying for it and a regime change and all.

So my body clearly knew that and caused me to seek out fried fish and/or create the circumstance that allowed fried fish to be eaten to a somewhat exaggerated degree. Because what better way to commemorate an occasion, really, than dipping various sea creatures in batter and dunking them in hot oil?

I can think of none. The homemade scallops were a particular treat, and were what I imagine the popplers from Futurama would taste like. If only they turned out to also be sentient and cute too, instead of just nature’s bite-sized morsel. (Seriously, what other evolutionary purpose could scallops serve? They’re naturally a tiny nugget of delicious meat.)

Anyone who points out that it may cause my first actual sick day taken for illness clearly misses the point. Apologies to Michelle and whichever other of my veggie friends may be reading this. I abdicate responsibility however, as this was clearly a matter of body chemistry, not rational thought.

128-bit Memory Lane

Published January 15th, 2008 in retrospecticus, megaspection, poindextrose and l337 gamez. 0 Comments

In my pre-work blog perusal this morning, my one of my bookmarked gaming blogs (Level Up at Newsweek) linked to a piece on MTV Multiplayer featuring little blurbs from gaming luminaries/writers/creators/journalists about their first real gaming memory.

Seeing as a lot of these people are older than me, though not by too too much, most of the memories involve the Atari 2600, or cabinet arcade games, but a few choice nuggets really triggered a flood of memories in me as well.

I’ve been on a big gaming kick lately, and 2007 was a very, very good year in video games, so it was a good time for me to jump back in. Probably even a bigger kick than towards the end of my university career, when I went on a very short but intense kick of sending resumes out to video game publishers in hopes of getting a (very elusive) job on the creative/production side. Turns out, if you can’t program, you better have a game or two to your credit already, or years of experience elsewhere that is somehow applicable.

I still believe gaming is the next big entertainment front, one where there will be a huge break in the next few years as a primary storytelling form, maybe even nearing the impact that movies or TV have, so maybe I can look into it in the future. For now, I’ve sufficed with reading a ton about what’s going on in the industry, and taking in the amazing games that have been on offer lately (having finally purchased the 360 that had been saved up for for more than a year).

But as to the nostalgic kick mentioned earlier, it only took seven words: Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

I loved those games. The word “Broderbund” is forever etched into my brain as a bringer of good things. But that recollection sent me back even further. I knew Carmen and her motley crew thieved away with a big part of my heart as a kid, but they weren’t the first, so who was? I pictured a mountain. A mountain made up of blue lines, pretty basic early computer art. Big blue letters. What did the letters say?

Sierra.

I saw big ears. Who did these ears belong to? Oh man, that takes me back. Soft white vinyl case, creaking plastic.

Mickey’s Space Adventure.

There may have been earlier games, those floppy disks full of 4-bit bowling games, game shows, dozens of games probably no bigger than 5kb for the Commodore (we had a 128, no stinkin’ 64 for us, no sir), but that space-faring mouse and his quest for … something were the beginnings of what I’m only now realizing is a lifelong and close friendship with video games. I truly believe that those early educational games helped sate my need for dynamic interaction (I was a bright kid who craved stimulation), helped me solve puzzles (even when they got repetitive, and I did play them until I knew them backwards and forward) and develop my brain, and I may not be who I am today if I resorted to amusing my only-child self in front of even more children’s TV or other solitary activity.

So I googled it for fun, and guess what? It still runs. Those geniuses at ScummVM (the emulator that runs old Lucasarts games, among many others, on modern computers) has included Mickey’s Space Adventure in its most recent build.

I found the ROM, updated my (*sheepish eyes* … work computer) version of ScummVM to the recent beta, and heard that familiar bleeping within about 90 seconds. I switched off then, as I’m not a complete layabout at work and I had plenty to do, but just knowing that I can go back and explore the solar system with Mickey and Pluto again anytime I like, even though our Commodore 128 is long, long, long dead, is immensely comforting.

It even more or less sums up my current feelings on video games. The best experiences, to me, involve adventure, intrigue, a decent amount of heart, and no less thought, preferably more. Where hundreds of thousands of other impressionable youth were gobbling down pellets in Pac-Man, or shooting down 10-pixel planes in Combat for the 2600, or God-forbid playing E.T. for Atari, I was flying the solar system in a primary-coloured, slow-to-load, memory crystal-searching starship from the planet Oron.

Good times indeed.

P.S. Stay tuned for reviews of the last five years in my gaming life, maybe more. Seems to me that reviews are something I’m quick at, and can help me write with a purpose on a regular basis. I’ve got a list here, I plan to address it.

First up, Portal.

Ammo

Published September 24th, 2007 in Zowie!, brain and retrospecticus. 1 Comment

Seeing as I still haven’t followed through on my promise to blog, and I’m now at work compiling a ton of brochures for Humber College, I thought I’d blog tiny bits in between brochures.

Some bullet points, if you will, for now. I’m thinking of doing a fall TV breakdown eventually, once I’ve seen pilots, and I may jot some Raptors thoughts before the season starts. Plus actual blogging, about stuff I think about and crap. Yeah.

But for now:

God Bless Technology — a.k.a. “Random text messages from Dart saved to my cellphone”

Occasionally, and not as frequently as I’d like, my phone will beep or buzz, and it’s a text message from Dart. Completely unbidden, often after not speaking to Dart for weeks or months. I wish I had more, so c’mon Dart, do it up. Now here, for your reading pleasure, they are (omitting texts sent for a purpose, like birthday party planning), in reverse chronological order (most recent first):
“I accidentally hit myself in the nuts with my binder”
“I am the greatest says Muhammad Ali”
“Fuck!”
“Championship! Championship! Championship! Championship! Championship! Championship!”
“Maiden!” (with accompanying photo of Iron Maiden playing live)

Box of gold

This past weekend, we did what I can’t believe it took me until now to do. I now have, in my living room, a PVR. This now means that I can tell my VCR to go screw itself, record two shows at once without tapes, record shows with the touch of about 2 buttons, not annoy Beth with all of my Raptors games, and not worry about (sad as it is, I sometimes do, seeing as I’m so caught up with following the shows that I follow, all in the name of honing my TV writing craft) whether or not I’ve got recording set right when we leave the house, allowing me to, well, leave the house a little easier. I’ve already played with it a bunch. How I survived until now, I don’t know. Best of all, since Rogers had been dicking me around and still charging me for months for some channel packages after they moved a bunch of the included channels into their free VIP package, the PVR will be free for a few months with credit, and after that, won’t cost any more than aforementioned channel packages did.

XBOX 360 urge growing … growing

Time at work has also allowed me to work some podcast listening into my day, and G4/IGN tend to be the main places I go, usually filling myself full of hype for nerdly pursuits like games, comics, tv, gadgets, etc. After mildly sating these urges with Metroid 3 (awesome) and slowly working my way through, trying to savour every last second of it, I’m getting more and more hyped for a bunch of 360 releases. I already pimped Mass Effect in my little sidebar ages ago, but now there’s Bioshock sitting on shelves, taunting me, and damned if I’m not getting caught up a little in Halo 3 fever. I’ve never been a huge fanboy of the Halo franchise, but they are very solid shooters, with a decent story and some fun to be had. I’m not a multiplayer man either, but that Forge map editor, and the saved films instant replay, make the nerdlinger inside me very giddy. Halo’s promotion team has been bang-on, too, really stoking not just hardcores in wanting to play, but getting everyone on board. They’re showing that they understand not only how to make a game where stuff gets blasted, but also to put at least a bit of thought into the style and substance of the things. Plus for my little white box of joy (the Wii), there’s still Zack & Wiki, a delightful looking piratey adventure/puzzler, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, with online and an honest-to-God story mode, and of course, Super Mario Galaxy — ’nuff said.
Now I’ve just got to keep scrimping and trading stuff in to put together some fundage for this project…

Household miscellany

We’ve been redecorating, to an extent. Nice new dresser, new lamps (owls and horsies!), looking at chairs, and I’m actually interested! It might not always show, according to Beth, but I’m really kinda looking forwarwd to not living in student-esque squalor, as budget and lifestyle have dictated to this point.
We’re also still acclimatizing our little kitten-y bundles of delight to our home, and they’re (mostly) a treat. When they’re not whining to see us at six in the morning.

I think that’s it for now. Started this almost first thing in the morning, and now it’s 4:00, blogged around work. Enjoy, internetz.

Coming soon: hopefully my TV season roundup, more Flickr fun (free Flickr pro with Rogers internet! Who knew Rogers would actually get something right!?!?), and maybe some gaming discussion (current state of, etc).

Chylothorax 1, Curiousity 0

Published September 5th, 2007 in retrospecticus and cats. 5 Comments

So long

So how was your long weekend? Nice time at the cottage? Bit of relaxing?

That’s nice.

I didn’t want this to be flippant (and yet my choice of title). I didn’t want this to be angry (and yet my opening).

But she’s gone. And that’s not fair.

It isn’t nearly as unfair as losing a parent, or a brother, both of which have affected dear friends of mine in the not-too-distant past, and I absolutely know we did the right thing, because it is inhumane, cruel, and unfair to the animal to keep them alive for your own emotional security, but there is still a profound part of me that is aching and angry that I had to do this, and do it so soon.

Admittedly I wanted to put off making this choice until it was a little easier for me, as awful as that might sound. I wanted her to know that there was something seriously wrong, as I fundamentally could not kill a happy and unaware, if occasionally uncomfortable, part of my life. I needed to know that she knew what was happening, and that she was ready, but not wait so long that she couldn’t bear it. She fought and she fought, but over the last week, the pieces of her that meant most to us went away. She wasn’t taking any pleasure in things that made her so happy previously. She had to fight to catch her breath if she was moved, jostled, picked up, or towards the end, even just touched. This was not how she had been living with her disease up to the last few days. If I’m most sorry for anything, it’s that we saw the signs of the worst starting mid-Saturday, but held out until yesterday to avoid having to take her to the awful emergency clinic and go amongst all that pain and unfamiliarity, and the ludicrous expense. We needed her to have some measure of comfort in going with us by her side, but also with the vets and staff at Queen West who were so, so good to her, and who seemed almost as broken up as we were (they nearly all came in one-by-one to say goodbye). So we spent the weekend watching a body die around a soul that knew it, and wanted out.

In the end, she could barely sleep, as she was putting so much conscious effort into breathing properly that she couldn’t take a moment’s rest from concentrating, lest she not get enough air. She managed two little naps, with us on the couch, over Monday and yesterday, and her body wracked and shook as she slept so much, yet she was so tired that she was so deeply asleep, that there was no doubt we were doing what had to be done.

But she got to fight as long as she could, we gave her every chance and the best treatment we could, she got to raise one wonderful little sister to be a very loving animal, and she got the chance to meet our two new little additions and to experience one last bit of joy (I really believe her most joyous times were when she could watch and play with little baby kittens, as first with Maeby and now with Flora and Dorothy/Piglet she was never happier than when she got to get on the floor with them) before moving on.

I don’t know what her life was like before us, but if the little nicks and scars, the chipped tooth, the fleas, the worms and the refusal to eat were any indication, I like to think we gave her the best life she could ever have imagined. And I hope, I hope, that in putting a stop to her pain, we helped her find a far, far better rest (to borrow a line) than she could ever dream of. We didn’t even have her for three years, but I hope they were good years.

We loved her. She was the first addition to our little family, and she brought us great happiness.

We will miss her.

So, if you please, cans in the air and pour one off for Kaylee, and for anyone else lost or hurting.

Goodbye, little girl.

This week

Published February 13th, 2007 in brain, hoops, teevee, retrospecticus and internetz. 0 Comments

Trying to plow through this blogging thing, even when I’m not so sure if I’ve got anything to say, probably the best way to plow through these dry spots.

First off, huge kudos to the ladyfriend, Miss Beth, for prettyifying my corner of internetz. ‘Svery, very nice.

Bullet points: Had a job interview yesterday. Think it went well. The past year has taught me to not get my hopes up though, so I’m cautiously grateful for having been called at all, and now it’s behind me and I’m pushing on with more applications. If I hear something more, great, if not, nothing changes. The job was copywriting at an ad agency that specializes in HR recruiting/internal communications, and I think I’d be pretty ideal for it, seeing as all the treatments I’ve been doing were were selling a person and an idea to skeptical audiences. And I can write up whirlwinds on just about anything given the proper direction. But yeah, no expectations — I know better than to invest any more thought/hope in it than that.

TV: still writing Studio 60 reviews. Lost was good last week, glad to see it should be picking up after the possibly ill-advised ‘pod’ last fall and subsequent ten week hiatus. Heroes is zipping along as always, very good for a freshman show. Supernatural is wicked as ever. Galactica is in the midst of its season-extending padding of a mid-section, as usual, but the filler is generally of a higher quality than last year — it also got renewed for a shorter (as of now) fourth season, either meaning it’ll be forced to do without filler, or a full 20 order will come later. Grey’s Anatomy is damned addictive. The OC is making me wish I’d been watching all along, except that I know seasons two and three blew, largely influenced by Mischa Barton — having her gone is making it delightful, sadly it’s gone in two weeks. 30 Rock is stellar. 24 is 24, meaning I can stand to watch it once in a while, but I’m fairly convinced that its cogent and relevant arguments (such as between the newest President Palmer and Peter Macnicol) both go completely over the head of the segment of the audience who most needs to hear them, and that their presence is largely counteracted by the actual meat and potatoes of the show. Any one of these capsule sentences could send me on a tangent spanning a post of its own, but I’ve restrained.

Raptors: three games over .500, the only loss lately being to the Pistons on the second half of a back-to-back, on the road. Tonight in Chicago bodes ill as well, but hopefully they take the Nets to friggin’ school tomorrow night (I’ll probably sneak in a radio to the theatre as I’m running the FPP show tomorrow night. Like I’ve never done it before).

Comedy: haven’t gotten to any sketch yet, people are hard to pin down, what with possible takers being spread across the Golden Horseshoe. Might try some of my own soon, throwing darts at a few ideas. I’ve been making a lot of “that _________ was only two days away from retirement” jokes lately, it’s been alright.

The next project is possibly finding some new ties, a new sportcoat, and overcoat, possibly second-hand, for spiffying up the wardrobe (for interviews/work and such), and Beth would like to artsy-up the ties. Should be fun. I’ve also still got some gift cards from Christmas (Future Shop and HBC) burning holes in my pocket — Wii controller and pants, respectively, looking like targets. Also dinner with Beth’s family for her birthday. So at least the next couple days should be full. I’ll keep you apprised. And if anyone else is interested in comedy (as below), lemme know.

Katie: I apologize profusely for grouping you into the ‘other Press folks’ in the last post. Here you are, all on your ownsome, getting jam in my blog. Wanna do comedy? Do it up. I had no idea you were a fellow high school drama geek. I welcome you into the club.

2006: Suckpile

Published December 30th, 2006 in brain and retrospecticus. 3 Comments

I’ve seen a few ‘year-in-review’ posts going around, thought I’d throw my two cents in, but didn’t feel like using one of the chain, fill-in-the-blanks ones.

I momentarily thought of starting with a ‘humans feel the need to rationalize, look back, blah blah dee blah’ bullcrap intro. Now I just want to kinda get into it.

2006 blew.

If I had the slightest idea precisely how hard it would blow, I probably would’ve taken a pass on the whole thing, used some sort of veto card on New Year’s Eve last year in Aaron’s basement at his party, skipped directly to 2007. It would have left me in approximately the same place, life-wise.

Good things from 2006:

1. Beth. Beth is still here. Though for the life of me, I have a hard time figuring out why. I love her with everything that I am, but unfortunately for her, about 90% of what I am is an ass. I’ve taken us from too-busy, over-employed with crapass boring, time-consuming jobs in dead-end St. Catharines and zero debt to 12 months of essentially unemployment (about 5 cumulative weeks of freelance work notwithstanding), boredom, whopping credit card debt, and me sulking around this apartment waiting for jobs to appear out of thin air. If I’m to hang on to the continued love and respect of this amazing woman, 2007 better see me friggin’ earn it.

2. My kitten. She appeared on our door, and despite having a decent hand in causing a bit of the aforementioned credit card debt (vet bills don’t pay themselves…), she’s been nothing but a breath of fresh air.

3. Everytime AaBron phones me. It seems to turn into a job somehow. Granted very few of them paid, but I produced his internet radio show, interned at his mom’s production company, which did turn into my only paying gigs of the year. I owe him a very nice wedding present, and a number of beers.

4. ……. Um. Hmmm, lemme see … My Nintendo Wii is pretty cool? Yeah, that’s about all I can come up with.

If finally having decided that regardless of odds/likelihood of easy success, writing TV is where I want to be headed in my life, then I guess finally having direction is a good thing. Too bad the road there is really long and I’ve likely got the wrong education for it.

2006 ‘hiccups’, shall we say:

1. Unemployment. Arguably my fault, like much else on here, but probably the biggie.
First The Walrus bailed on hiring me, even part-time, due to ‘lack of funds for new positions’. Three weeks later, new position ‘Director of Special Projects’ is founded, salaried, given benefits, and handed to the guy who started after me, with arguably the same abilities.
Next, some random magazine dude emails me out of nowhere, wants to meet, basically promises me a job ‘whenever he can get the magazine off the ground’. Fast-forward eight months — no magazine, no word on potential future magazine.
Then comes Dose. Really great opportunity, cool job, cool youth-oriented daily. I kick the interview’s ass. Paper gets shut down 10 days later.
CSIS. Yeah, I had a couple interviews with CSIS. Then comes the ‘thanks but no thanks letter’ four days after a third stage that wouldn’t supposedly respond for eight weeks. Guess I really impressed on that one.
Dart’s porn store. They’ll hired coked up, masters-waving douchebags, but not me. But they will fire the person they hire over me, two weeks later. And then the person hired to replace them, another two weeks later.
Octapix. Some documentary distro house. Jess got hired, climbed up into sales within a couple months. I used to be Jess’ boss, Jess likes me (I think…), puts in a good word … not even a callback.
Yahoo. More jobs I’m eminently qualified for, building up a good rapport with the HR lady, until she stops responding to my emails/phone calls. Eventually, I get directed to someone leading an internship program. No response. Feels really great at this point.
SDI. Closed captioning house. The job is literally watching TV and typing. I go in, kick the test’s ass (I thought) in about half the time they say it will take. A week later, a polite thanks but no thanks email.
These are only a sampling, the places I can either remember by name or that have an interesting story attached. There was the temp place whose aptitude tests I aced, but who managed to call me twice in six months, once the week I start interning at Radke, and the other the day before I go in for abdominal surgery. Nice job. The Toronto Star sales job whose interviewer was very nice and very constructive, even if the second sentence out of his mouth was telling me that it wasn’t the job for me (a fact I of course knew, but was in no position to turn down an interview). Or the legions and legions of resumes sent to production houses, magazines, BellGlobemedia, Alliance Atlantis, more places than I can remember or count, but have no real way of quantifying by response, since there was none. Do we get the picture?

2. Hospitals. I hadn’t seen a hospital/doctor outside of routine checkups/EIC related stress in more than a decade, but three emerg visits and an abdominal surgery trumped that streak. June saw me in emerg for about 10 hours getting ultrasounds when I finally couldn’t take the recurring stomach pain anymore. That turned into gallstones, which became a nice little convalescence in October.
And just yesterday, to cap the year off in the manner most fitting, I go back with an inch-and-a-half long, half-centimeter deep gash in my wrist, off some stupid piece of can lid or something in our garbage. A few stitches later, I’m home calling mom to see if I’m up to date on tetanus, which I’m probably not.

3. Cars. I suppose part of this was last year, but I sort of roll last fall into this year’s suckiness. First that lady smashed up the rear end of my car, luckily covered by insurance.
Then, I rear end a guy. At 25 km/h. Which sets off my air bags. Which breaks my windshield, and Beth’s face a little. Which nets me a ticket for following too closely. Which includes a court date right around my birthday next year. Oh, and one tiny final tidbit — all on Beth and I’s anniversary. I really know how to cap off special occasions.

4. Waste. This computer I’m writing on. This website I’m writing too. My Nintendo. Pretty much everything else I’ve bought in the last year. All of it was rationalized, or bargained, but I didn’t need any of it. I just can’t make a smart decision, evidently. Some of it was supposedly to help with getting and doing the work I was being given, but that’s basically a cop out. It wouldn’t have been as easy, but I could have done it other ways.

5. My attitude. As above, I’m basically just an ass. I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I’m both too quick to blame myself, leading to giving up, and not quick enough, leading to blaming others for problems I’ve created myself. I’m 25 fucking years old. I’m broke, I’m unemployed, and I’m dragging down anyone else unfortunate enough to be associated with me. I need to get my head out of my ass.

I’m not writing this to get ‘buck up’ comments or emails from anyone. That used to be what this would be for, as I’m also an attention hog, but no more. I’m writing this to purge everything awful from my head and from my heart and from my hands and from anywhere else where shit may be hiding in me. I’m writing this because I am pissed off, but I’m not pissed off at anyone but me. And it isn’t a tiny pissed off, it’s a huge, life-changing pissed off. I’m writing this to let 2006 know that it may have had its shots, and it may have beaten me down, but it better let 2007 know what’s coming.

Hey, 2007, you wanna make something of this? You wanna take this on?

Do it. I will end you.

You know that Triumph song, “Fight the Good Fight”? That’s me. That’s my head. That’s where this is going. Beth, by way of Supernatural, has gotten us on a classic rock kick. All that heavy, kick-ass, mytho-, motivati-, take-names, good stuff.

And it’s loud.

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